Why settle for second best, even in a quarrel?

Why not strive for quality in every area of human endeavour? 

Why not strive for excellence even in a field as apparently unpromising as animosity?

So when I saw an advert for ‘Better Rows’ the other day, I thought ‘yes, why not? If you’re going to have a row, make it a good one.’ 

It could be an original approach to, say, marriage counseling, couldn’t it? ‘We can’t stop you arguing with each other, but we can at least help you make sure the quarrels don’t descend into mere banality. We can make sure they have that special quality that marks them out from the ordinary. 

Yes, I can imagine there’s mileage in that. Perhaps even a little money to be made, if you play your cards right.

Then I looked at the ad again, and I realised they weren’t promoting a superior form of argument at all. They were doing that rather tedious thing that advertisers like, of making two words, on different lines, share an initial letter.

Turns out it’s just about threading which, I’m assured, is a way of thinning out eyebrows by pulling out individual hairs with cotton threads.

‘Doesn’t hurt at all,’ Danielle assures me. It amazes me the arrant nonsense women sometimes talk and expect us to believe.

At last - an end to bad arguments?

‘Doesn’t hurt at all,’ Danielle assures me. It amazes me the arrant nonsense women sometimes talk and expect us to believe.

And here's another sign:

 

Marks and Spencer offering 25% of men’s clothing.

But why should all men swear? Surely something to be celebrated, isn’t it?


And a last thought:

That question I started with - why not strive for quality in every area of human endeavour?

It actually has a good answer: because sometimes it isn't worth it. I can't discover who originally said it, but there's a great statement I’ve taken to quoting rather a lot recently: if a job isn't worth doing, it isn't worth doing right.

Amazing how often people spend a lot of time trying to persuade me to put real effort, real striving for quality, into doing something which there was no point in doing in the first place.

I always end up in a row with them. Which may be why I'm tempted by the idea of better rows.