Tuesday, 30 September 2014

It just takes a little patience, and a bit more money

A homeowner with a leaking roof called in a man who claimed to be a roofer.

“Ah,” said the roofer, “it’ll cost a lot and it’ll take at least a year.”

After grumbling a bit, the homeowner agreed to the terms, even though the sheer cost meant a lot of pain, cancelling a holiday, not entertaining friends, even eating rather less.

At the end of the year, the roof was still leaking.

“Yes,” said the roofer, “but it’s leaking less. If you’ll pay me rather more than last time and give me another year, I’ll get it fixed for you.”

A man flagged down a taxi and asked how much it would cost to drive to the airport. The driver quoted a figure that sounded excessive, but the passenger was in a hurry and accepted.

They drove for so long that the passenger was far too late for his plane. Then the driver pulled in and told him they’d arrived.

“But this isn’t the airport,” said the passenger.

“No, but it’s closer,” said the driver. “If you pay me even more I can get you to the airport in time for the next plane.”

An internet user was absolutely delighted to have been put in a position to receive £10 million from the manager of a Nigerian bank. He willingly paid the £60,000 asked for, since it was dwarfed by the amount he was due to receive.

He waited six months but no funds showed up. He wrote to the same e-mail address and, slightly to his surprise, received a reply.

“Good sir, there is now chance we make available not £10 million but £14 million. You please send £130,000 more and we transfer whole sum.”

The UK Prime Minister David Cameron campaigned in the 2010 election pledging: “We will protect Britain’s credit rating with a credible plan to eliminate the bulk of the structural deficit over a Parliament.”

At the end of the following Parliament, the deficit is still out of control but Britain has suffered austerity which has seen the proliferation of food banks, disabled people denied benefits, the poor made poorer, while only the wealthiest have done well.

At the Conservative Party Conference yesterday, George Osborne, Chancellor of the Exchequer, the man in charge of our finances, told us that he was “humbled by how much more we have to do.” And he declared that “we here resolve we will finish the job that we have started.”

All he needs is the chance to impose five more years of austerity to make it happen.

George Osborne: didn't do the job, but would like to try again
What's not to trust?

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