Isn’t it exciting, that confrontation between the Royal Navy and the Russians off Crimea in the Black Sea?
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| HMS Defender making its way through Crimean waters much to Russian annoyance |
The Russians say they fired a couple of warning shots at the British ship, HMS Defender, and even dropped some bombs ahead of it, to force it out of waters it claims as its own. The British government says nothing of the sort happened. So we immediately hit a bit of a quandary.
It’s often said that the first casualty of war is the truth. But what if the truth’s already dead? Vladimir Putin isn’t known to be entirely reliable in every statement he makes, and Boris Johnson, I sadly have to admit, may not be the poster boy for strict adherence to the truth amongst politicians. Who knows what really happened?
A BBC journalist, Jonathan Beale who just happened to be aboard (it’s almost as though someone in Britain expected the ship to provoke confrontation) reported that “increasingly hostile warnings were issued over the radio,” by the Russians, “including one that said ‘if you don't change course I'll fire’. We did hear some firing in the distance but they were believed to be well out of range. As HMS Defender sailed through the shipping lane it was buzzed by Russian jets.”
Like I said, exciting, right?
I mean, Russia only claims those waters because it has occupied Crimea, previously Ukrainian territory. Most western countries, including Britain, don’t recognise that occupation. So one can imagine that sending a western warship through those particular waters might indeed lead to a little ratcheting up of tension.
The big question is, therefore, is Britain now at war with Russia? Ukraine could certainly do with the help, though whether it would expect Britain to be up to providing much must be a bit moot. From Britain’s point of view, there’s a lot to be said for such a conflict.
That’s because, apart from the fact that we’d obviously be thrashed, and quickly, there’s much to say for a war just there. After all, we’ve got a good track record fighting Russians in the Crimea. We had a war against them there, in the middle of the nineteenth century. We even won. OK, that was with the French on our side, and they sent more troops, and did more than their share of the heavy lifting, but hey, it was still a victory for our lot, wasn’t it?
Getting the French on board again, though, might be a bit difficult this time around. I’m not sure they’re all that well-disposed to Johnson and co. right now. Not enough, at least, for Mr Macron gamely support him wherever he leads.
Still, think of all the wonderful things we could do, even on our own. We might be able to persuade the Russians to lay on a rematch of the Battle of Balaclava. That way we could send another charge, like the famous one by the Light Brigade, directly at Russian guns, to get practically everyone wiped out and gain nothing. Remember Tennyson’s ringing words?
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| Charge of the Light Brigade at the Battle of Balaclava Renowned instance of British confusion and incompetence An ideal monument to the Johnson premiership |
And when it’s over, with Britain well beaten, pulling out the small number of survivors, worn out and broken men and women, Boris Johnson will have the satisfaction of having carried out another futile and highly expensive mission ending in disaster. To lay in his trophy cabinet, alongside the other fiascos – like the Thames garden bridge, when he was Mayor of London, “world-beating” Covid testing that never happened, the Dominic Cummings saga and, of course, to cap it all, Brexit.
Surely not an opportunity Johnson ought to pass up.
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