Unintended consequence

According to Maya Angelou, “when we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed”.

Well, yes. Except when things go wrong.

Here’s what happened when my good friend Nigel gave his wife Sheila a new bike (I’ve changed the names, since I believe in protecting the guilty). A wonderful idea as he also got them two kiddie bike seats, so they would be able to go out for bike rides as a family, each with one of their two children (obviously, the system would break down if they ever had a third).

Sheila decided she ought to try her bike. She took it outdoors for a ride around the village where they live. It seemed a good idea at the time.

The problem is that Sheila likes to document key moments in their family life. 

“Nigel,” she called out, “come and take a picture.”

Nigel was reluctant, but eventually allowed himself to be persuaded. Out he came with his phone, ready to record what would be a rite of passage for his family. Later, all of them would enjoy the photos, as they looked back on this important moment in their family history.

“Here’s when your mother first went out on a bike after not having used one for, oh, several years,” they’d be able to say, and all of them wonder at the implications of this key event, the point at which they truly became a cycling family. And ‘key event’ is the right way to describe it, as you’ll soon discover.

In his hurry to get his task as official recorder done, Nigel came out in his socks. They prepared to take the picture as they wanted it. Sadly, as they were getting ready, there was a brief gust of wind and the front door blew shut.

It was only then that they realised that neither had brought any keys.

Fortunately, they both had their phones. Unfortunately, both phones were nearly out of charge. They were going to have make calls quickly and keep them short.

A friend of theirs had a spare key. But she was half an hour away. With mobile phone batteries down to the 2 or 3% level, it seemed best to waste none on contacting her. Luckily, their helpful and obliging landlord lived nearby and also had a key.

They rang him. He said he’d pop around at once. And he was as good as his word. 

Sadly, that was where they made their next depressing discovery.

Key error

One of them had left a key in the lock on the inside of the door. With a key in it, it couldn’t be opened from outside. They were as stuck as ever.

It was time to try the local locksmith. He, too, was more than happy to help. And, he assured them, since he wasn’t far away, he could be with them within half an hour.

That was good news. In the meantime, though, Nigel’s feet were beginning to show the first signs of frostbite (I may have exaggerated that a bit). So, while they were waiting for the locksmith, Sheila and Nigel popped to a local corner shop, one of those fine establishments that will sell you anything from brooms to bin liners, from toilet brushes to tablecloths. They were able to pick up a pair of shoes that might not make much of a fashion statement, but at least had the merit of being cheap and protecting Nigel’s toes from falling off.

The locksmith arrived soon after their return, with what he called his X-ray machine for opening locks. At first, it looked like it wouldn’t work, that the door would resist even his highest of high tech, and they would have to smash a window to get in. But then, suddenly, there was a satisfying click and the lock turned. A push on the handle and the door swung open. They were in.

You can imagine the gratitude they felt to the locksmith. Only enhanced when he told them his charge, which was not a lot over 10% of the normal price that they had expected to pay. “I’m a neighbour,” he told them, “and I have a special price for people who live nearby.”

Sheila and Nigel were delighted to be back indoors, before the kids came back from school. It was only once they went into their sitting room that they realised that the sliding window to the balcony had been open the whole time. A small scramble from the front of the building and they could have been in an hour earlier.

Ah, well. At least everything had worked out OK. And they’d learned a useful lesson. That’s that even the most welcome of gifts needs to be handled with care, if the giving isn’t to turn from a blessing to a curse.

What’s more, it’s no bad thing to take a key with you when you go out. And not to leave one in the lock inside.

As for the trial bike ride around the village, well, I have no idea how that worked out. Or whether it happened at all. Other events rather overshadowed it.